Come Back Stronger

“Come Back Stronger”

When you’re at that moment in life when thing’s just seem to be weighing you down, and thing’s are looking bad. Look at it as a blessing, because chances are it was something that was meant to happen. Not meant to make you mad or sad, but to see what you’re made of, to see how much higher you’ll get because of the lows in life.

Those are the time’s when you get a chance to show people what your made of, more importantly though you get the chance to show yourself what your made of. Prove everyone wrong, that’s always good, but proving yourself right is great.

The ability to bounce back, come back stronger than ever, that’s what matter’s, not what they think, the one’s who may say they want you to do big thing’s, than try to stop you. Try is all they can do, the one’s that’s going to truly stop you is the person you see in the mirror everyday.

Don’t let the heavy restraint’s that is your own mind hold you down, or hold you back from doing what you’re looking to do. Don’t care about what other’s may think, because they probably want you to fail deep down inside of them, they don’t want to see you make it. Chance’s are they’ll be there if you make it, but you don’t need them to make it, so go out and take it, take it all the way, and do what you want to do, just make sure they can’t catch you doing something wrong. Get them talking, trying to keep you down. Get them talking and the job is done, and move on and do something else to again get them talking. While their busy talking, you should keep on walking straight toward’s your destination.

Once you reach it, it doesn’t mean it’s over it means it has only just begun, those that follow, will always follow when you’re getting it, unless they can lead themselves and get it as well.

Keep the circle smaller and the value of that circle will increase, with all sorts of types trying to get in, keep the door locked and shut. Let them try to break in. Stay weird, because it’s a lot more fun than being normal, whatever that is, I don’t know. Those who think their normal, don’t know who it is they really are.

Think outside of the box, do something different, unique, do something, fuck what they think. Fuck talking about it, go out and be all about it. Leave the ones talking, doing just that, talking. Let them remain in a state of shock, like damn who would’ve thought? That might be the ultimate definition of success. Go out and get it, because no one’s giving it to you. The sooner that is learned the better off you are.

Im Free (poetry?)


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I’m Free

I came here

With no fear

I came here

To help myself

I came here with a good mind

I’ve made friends

I’ve made enemies

I’m hated

They have no reason to hate me

I’m never coming back

Only for a visit

Hoping they have no fear

I’m free

I’ve done everything for me

In a way for everyone else

No more racing thoughts

I’m completely free at last

I’ve had a blast

It’s in my past

For once I’d say

                                                         I’m free

Same-Opposite (poetry?)




I never got to show you

True Happiness

In life because of

The morals and values

That you instilled in me

I did exactly what you

Wanted me to do

And that’s exactly

What I’m doing

Not labeling myself

Just like you wanted

I’m doing me, only for you

I’m you, you are me

We’re the same

Yet different

Our minds are alike

Both great minds

Both sick and twisted

In our minds

In our heart

We’re both good men

You just weren’t given a chance

To get your mind under control

The way it should be

I did and I’m not stopping

Love you

I owe you

My great life to come

To you

So I’m living it

To the fullest

Just like you wanted

I was always listening

Even when I wasn’t

I was a lost child

You were too

I’m a scape goat

You’re a scape goat

Too me, for all the right reason’s

To everyone else, for all the wrong reason’s

You have no idea how much

I miss you

I miss the great human being you were

For giving his life

Just so I could live mine

When tomorrow starts

Without you

I’ll never forget

What you’ve said

And the thing’s

You didn’t say

What wasn’t said

Was never meant to be said

It was just understood

I understood everything

You went through

I went through it

Never once did I

Ever not love you

I just wish I got

To show you

What I’ve learned

And now know

I used the mind

You gave me

Though little time

Was spent together

No one can break the bond

That we had

The one we have

As father and son

It’s something

That can never be broken

You left too early

You may have though it

Wasn’t early enough

I feel as if

I gained something

Something inside of me

A deeper understanding

Of how precious

Life is and how

Beautiful it can be

A beautifully dark life

Is what you had

A beautiful person

That live’s on

For eternity

I want you

To be around

To see the life I want


You won’t be here

I’m ok with that

Not because I don’t

Love you

I do, love and respect you

I understand you more

Than one may think

If they understood you

Than you leaving us

Shouldn’t have surprised anyone

Miss you, love you

When tomorrow start’s without you

I’ll embrace all of the tomorrows

And enjoy them, because life really

Is a beautiful thing

Thank’s for showing me that

Too early, Never forgotten

No Filter

At time’s I have no filter on my mouth and I don’t hold back as to what I may say, because of what someone else may think. It all depend’s on the enviroment that I’m in, at work I’ll be a lot more reserved than as if I’m chilling with friends just having a good time.

A good friend has told me on numerous occasions “dude you have no filter.” This is coming from the guy who one night was freestyling and came out with ” I got a blumpkin, that’s something.” So he can’t say much, however he’s stopped me from saying some really sick and twisted shit, that most of the public wouldn’t want to hear, and for that I thank him.

In today’s world people seem to get offended so easily, God forbid someone say’s something offensive, it get’s everyone’s panties up in a bunch. The fact that in the previous sentence I said “God forbid”, that could have offended someone for all I know. What are we supposed to be these perfectly proper, politically correct citizens of this country? I find very little correct in the political world, so therefore I don’t believe that the word’s “politically” and “correct” belong together, but hey who am I to say anything about word’s belonging together.

The main reason I’m not a fan of being “politically correct”, is the simple fact that their was not too much that was “politically correct” about how this country has become what it is today.

Think about it, we “discovered” this land. And by “discovered” I mean came in, raped and murdered almost an entire population of people who had been here for quite sometime before we even knew the land existed. We killed them for what reason? Was is it the fact that they didn’t look like us? And the fact that we considered their way of living to be of savage’s?

I find it hard to believe that they were the one’s who were savage’s, I think it’s the other way around. Savage is coming here and killing and stealing from people who had and still have so much that we could’ve learned from them. We may have heard them, but how much did we actually listen to what they were saying?

If you ever come across a book that contain’s the writing’s of the Chief’s of Native American Indian tribe’s or any Native American Indian for that matter, you’d probably be surprised as to what they were saying back than is still very much relevant to the world that we live in today.

It’s as if this country was built off of the violence toward’s an entire race, and then the enslavement of another race. The enslavement may not exist like it did at one point in this country, but the violence is still here. When it come’s to slavery it still exist in the world, and as far is it existing in this country, I’d say it does quite a bit because were all slave’s to something, something along the line’s of the dollar?

Thiers’ people who are slave’s today, we have sex slave’s, slave’s digging for diamond’s. People are still being murdered and raped as well, nothing’s changed just the time’s and the awareness of it all.

Speaking of that what I don’t get is that when a woman or child get’s raped by someone, we send that person to prison, where our taxes’ pay for that sick and twisted person to sit there with three meals and a bed. Do they deserve that? I don’t think so, but I don’t make the rule’s. The way I see it we put down dog’s who may attack a child, because that dog attacking a child will scar a child for life. Does a child being molested by someone not scar them for life as well? Yet, we let that person live, if they don’t get killed by the family member’s of that child first. I just don’t see how them spending time behind bar’s is going to change them, whose to say that they won’t do it again when they get out? Yea, they may have to register, let their neighbor’s know their a sex offender, not allowed within so many yards of a school or park, but is that really going to stop them? It very well could prevent them from harming another woman or child again, but it’s not guaranteed, so why can’t we put them down like we would a dog?

They say an addict will alway’s be an addict even if they’ve been clean and sober for 40 years, is it the same for the rapist? I just think you’re a complete piece of s**t, if you harm a woman or an innocent child and you should be put down.

On the other hand when it’s the opposite, a woman sleeping with a young boy, it’s as if it’s not a big deal. You don’t really hear about it much but you do every once in a while, and when you do it hits the news for a hot minute, but that’s it.

Not too long ago I saw something about two teacher’s sleeping with a young male student and obviously getting caught. My first thought was “where were those teacher’s when I was his age?” Than I saw the pictures of them and thought “wow they actually aren’t that bad-looking at all.”

Without reading the full story I’m not too sure as to how they got caught, but my guess is that someone saw something sketchy, or the kid went told one of his friend’s and it just spiraled out of control, that’s usually the case most of the time, people talk and it get’s back to the wrong person. If I was in his position, I most likely wouldn’t have been able to keep it to myself I would’ve told my best friend while we passed the dutch. How could a teenage boy not say something to a friend? At that age you’re not thinking about the consequence’s the teacher(s) could face. That’s one of those thing’s you keep to yourself, just to be able to keep doing it, and eventually tell your grandchildren about one day. You know the kid probably didn’t get into much trouble, I imagine his mother was upset, while his dad was patting him on the back saying, “that’s my boy, but you should’ve kept your mouth shut son.”

The real issue here is the teacher(s) and their mindstate, what would cause them to want to sleep with a teenage boy? Did they feel that he could benefit from some extra tutoring outside of the classroom and inside the bedroom? Instead of teaching him the ABC’s they decided to teach him about TLP’s and possibly safeword’s like “cupcake.”

I give the kid credit he did something I’m sure most the boy’s his age have fantasized about. I tell you right now I’ve fantasized about at least one of my teacher’s throughout the year’s in school, the one that I can recall being hot was my seventh or eighth grade art teacher. The last time I saw her she was still hot and could get it.

Onto the next topic, why in the world did we legalize alcohol and tobacco?

Two the deadliest substance’s known to man that are a part of everyday life. Are they trying to kill us?

I don’t think that there trying to kill us by having these two product’s available at damn near every convience store and Bodega in the country. I think their just trying to make money off of people’s habits that’s all. We have the choice as people to put something into our bodies that is harmful or to not put something harmful into our bodies. We’re all very well aware of the health risk involved with these substances so don’t act surprised when a health risk occurs. They’ve had warning’s placed on the labels for years, still doesn’t stop people. With the label’s theirs alway’s been the advertising as well.

Advertising that it almost genius on their part because it has worked. They had the cowboy on the horse and they also had the camel rocking the sunglasses, they made it look cool. All the signs in the store window’s were at eye level with young people and had all the right colors. It’s the same for alcohol as well, cool ad’s of beautiful people having a drink together, or a commercial of people partying, drinking, and having a good time in a penthouse suite or the rooftop of a penthouse suite, overlooking a big city. For most of us it’s not a reality it’s a fantasy, they alway’s show the good side never the bad side.

The amount of money these companies’ make must be ridiculous. When you think about alcohol and tobacco their both being bought and used 24 hour’s a day, 7 day’s a week, and 365 day’s a year, non stop money making market.

Not only is their a lot of money being made on people’s habit’s and good times, their’s also money being made on the affect’s of people’s habits and the bad times that are soon to follow. The health issues that occur make money for the doctor’s that we go see, the pharmaceuticals companies that provide the medication’s, that are usually prescribed to the us, the patient. You ever notice that nothing ever get’s cured it just get’s treated?

Is their a reason for that? I think so and that reason is money, what else could it be? Why would they want to cure cancer? Why would they want to cure AIDS?

When their is so much money involved with just the treatment of these deadly diseases?

I’m not saying that their is a cure for them, but how come we can do so much with the technology we have, but we can’t cure these diseases?

Is it due to the fact that we live in a very populated world and the simple fact that people need to die? Is it a way of controlling the population? I don’t for sure, I just feel like we could cure these thing’s and people wouldn’t have to go through these life altering event’s in their life. However if money is the motivation behind just treating disease and sickness, than it all make’s perfect sense, because the world is a business, and when it come’s to getting money, what better way to get it than selling drugs?

I believe that we as people should have more of a choice when it come’s to treating the illness that we may encounter in life. Their’s the man-made medications and then their’s the more natural medication’s that exist. The natural one I’m talking about is of course Medical Marijuana. It’s available in certain area’s of the country, but should be more available, and I believe it will be it’s just going to take sometime. I’m not going to sit here and say that it will help with everything because I’m sure their’s pills ou there that really do help with certain health issues people have. However, I’d just like to have the option that’s all.

The Medical marijuana industry isn’t going to put pharmaceutical companies out of business, because some people don’t want medical marijuana and it’s just not for every single health issue out there. It’s worth a shot at least, give it a chance. I just don’t want to ever be in the hospital hooked up to a Morphine drip because of an accident that has caused me a lot of pain. I know that I would be come dependent on it, I’d like to be able to use a plant to help ease any pain I may have.

Of course people have to realize you don’t just have to smoke Marijuana for you to feel it’s effects, which is a great thing especially for someone who may have a lung related illness. Or for someone who has gone through chemotherapy and doesn’t want to smoke, but still want’s the Marijuana to help them regain their appetite and hopefully rebuilding their immune system that may have been destroyed from the chemotherapy. Just like their’s pro’s and con’s with prescription medication’s their’s pro’s and con’s with Medical Marijuana as well. I don’t think their’s as many con’s as there is with the prescription pills, but their still there. People have to realize that all of the stigma’s that are associated with Marijuana aren’t all true, and the people who use it, aren’t all true. And you’d never imagine that some of the people who use it, actually use it. It could help create a lot of good in this country, as long as thing’s are thought out and done properly and professionally when it comes to this plant and everything else, because the people who are or will be involved in it, don’t want to mess it up, after all the year’s of it being fought for, it’s really going to become a part of mainstream society in this country.

Another plant that I think should be utilized because of the many benefits it has, is the Hemp plant. Why did we stop growing hemp to begin with?

If we started growing hemp again, the product’s that come from it is out of this world. Those product’s range from clothing, building materials, paper, and even beauty products that you can find in salons and other stores. It makes so much sense to start growing it, that we don’t? Which makes no sense whatsoever to me. I think it would be cool to drive down the back road’s of America and seeing a field full hemp plant’s growing, use some of the land that isn’t being used at all.

The hemp growing debate for me is the same as the Medical Marijuana one in the sense, that I believe that we should have a choice between man-made or natural. It would be nice to walk into a store that offers hemp paper for sale, or a clothing store that has hemp based clothing.

It may also help reduce the amount of tree’s that have to be cut down to feed the demand for lumber and paper in this country, or even help us become less dependent on foreign oil. I don’t see anything but good coming from both of these plant’s in this country. Of course there could always be something bad that happens and we just have to be prepared for it, if it were to occur and fix the problem and figure out a way to prevent it from happening again. Hemp farms all across America would be awesome in my opinion, theirs people out there that can grow both Hemp and Marijuana and really contribute to growth our economy, our country and ourselves as well. Let’s go greener with these two beautiful and beneficial plant’s, that have been around since way before people ever were.

What’s more important to you, 401k followers or a 401kplan? Depending on your answer say’s a lot about who you are, where your priorities are, but that’s none of my business.

I have to take a few stab’s or poke’s at social media, just because it make’s me laugh and giggle.

I use social media, it has reconnected me with family and friend’s who don’t live nearby. It has shown me a lot of useful product’s, idea’s, and in general a lot of great things out there in the world today. It’s a great resource for a business owner to help promote a business or product that someone may be offering. I’ve gotten invited to many concerts, fundraising events, and it has also helped raise awareness for causes, and that’s good. The most recent cause that I’ve seen being posted all about was the “Ice Bucket Challenge.” Great cause, but what I want to know is, how many people actually donated to the cause? I doubt very many people donated, I’m sure most just wasted water, wasting water when at the time, if I’m not mistaking there were wildfires going on out west. Perfectly good clean, drinking water being wasted. When some people in the world would’ve gladly have taken that water to drink, considering they’ve never had any clean water to drink, ever in their life.Smh.

What I like to see is people posting link’s to blog’s they may have, or a link to a website where they have put the music they make, or a link to a photographer’s website so you can see the most recent photo shoot they just did. Don’t get me wrong I do get a good laugh at some of the stupid shit people post, whether it’s a picture or a video of people doing stupid shit.

The constant game request that get sent to me, drive’s me absolutely crazy, it’s so annoying or is it just me? And do people who play these game’s realize that they don’t have to send out game invites in order for them to play the game? Just play the damn game, if I wanted crush candy I would, but I’d rather just eat some candy, not digitally crush it. Theirs no need to send me invites, I’m fully aware of all the games that social media has to offer, but thanks for the reminder, I’ll get right on that.

Game request were a part of the reason why I decided one day to go through and clean up my social media site, not only that, but I got rid of people I didn’t really talk to or know. And I most definitely got rid of the people who felt it was necessary to post a play-by-play status of their entire day. You know damn well you have someone on your friend list that does just that, the status that goes a little something like this:

” Just woke up, going to cook breakfast, take a shower, get dressed, do some cleaning, than I’m going shopping, and then back home to cook and eat while cuddled up on the couch with “BAE”, watching movies all night.”

Now I admit that may be a little bit of an exaggeration, but not really I’ve seen it before. Just do what you have to do, there is absolutely no reason to let everyone know what the hell you’re doing all day. It’s also a great way for you to get the house you just cleaned robbed, by letting everyone know you’ll be out of the house all damn day.

What the f**k does “BAE”, actually mean? I see it all the time, I’m a little lost, is it a new way to say “BABE?” If that’s what it means, than I question how much your “BAE” really means to you, considering the fact that you can’t seem to take the time and put the other “B” in their to spell “BABE.” Of course though that’s none of my business.

When it come’s to family on social media I’m not friends with very many of my relative’s, because I don’t feel the need to be or feel the need to communicate with them through social media. If I’m friends with them their usually blocked anyways, not that I have anything to hide, I just don’t want to be at a family gathering and having something I may post be brought up in conversation. The way I see it, if family and I want to communicate we can pick up the phone or visit one another, it’s that simple.

While I was cleaning up my social media site and getting rid of a few “friends”, I just want to make it clear that I wasn’t one of those people who posted this:

” Deleting some people off the friends list, so feel lucky if you’re reading this.”

That kind of just make’s you look like a complete douchebag, what make’s you so f*****g special that people should feel lucky to be friends with you still? Please educate me as to what makes you so special?

What is the deal with the people who are constantly putting all of their personal business out there on social media for people to see, and ultimately feed into and have something to say about it? If your going to choose and put that bulls**t out there, don’t sit there and then bitch and complain, about how everyone’s always in your business. You put it out there people and people are going to get involved, if you don’t expect people to, than that’s your problem.

All that drama you see, where people start fighting and talking shit back and forth. Seriously, keep that shit to yourselves, if you have a problem with someone, go out and handle it face to face, than squash it and move on. I forget sometime’s that their’s all these internet gangsters today, and love to talk shit behind a screen. Are you looking for the attention?

If you want the attention on social media do something good on it, say something meaningful, or shut the f**k up, please?

In today’s world I feel like no one take’s picture’s of each other, it’s all about that selfie, to the point where our phone’s even have the “selfie mode” on the camera. I’m not against the selfie or anyone who takes them at all. If you have the confidence to take a picture of yourself and feel confident enough to post it, go for it more power to you.

Everytime I see a female post a selfie, I wonder how many did she take before she actually posted one? Ten, twenty, or maybe even thirty, who knows?

You can’t blame them with society the way it is today, woman want to look their best especially if it’s a public picture that many people will eventually see. They get a little bit of help from all those damn filters that are available, not that they need them, but hey you want to use them and add a little bit of an artistic look to you picture, that’s cool. My personal favorite are the black and white’s, but the eye color is still there, that’s probably my favorite editing that can be done with the camera.

The picture’s themselves are awesome, it’s the caption’s that some of these girls put that I have seen that make me laugh. The one’s with the caption that says:

” I know I don’t look that good, but I don’t care, I love this picture.”

No, stop you don’t really think that because, you know damn well that you wouldn’t have posted that picture if you actually thought that, what I think is that you’re looking people to tell you that you look good. Come on let’s be real, I’d never post a picture of myself if I thought I looked like shit, and I’m a guy. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that happen, but it’s definitely happened before or else I wouldn’t have mentioned.

Ladies if you’re going to post a picture that’s somewhat revealing, dont caption it with ” Oh, I like the way my eye’s look in this one.”

Because I’m sure the majority of the likes from your male friends in particular, has little to nothing to do with your eyes standing out in the light that’s shining in through the window. It has to do with you breast hanging out and the booty shorts your barely wearing, just saying. And the girls that are saying: “oh you look so good girl.” Are probably talking shit at the same time to the friend their sitting next to looking at your picture.

The all too common “Duckface”, with your lips looking all wet from the lip glossed you have just applied before taking the infamous duckface picture. I love when I see the duckface because I think those are some nice lips, but I’m really thinking about the other set that you have and if their as nice as the one’s on your pretty face. The funny thing is, is that the duck face is nothing new, but it has become one of the “things” on social media. It’s been around since the day’s of miss Norma Jeane Mortenson and maybe even before her. Some girls can pull it off quite well but you still look kind of ridiculous, but it’s funny. Some stay with the duckface, like it’s their damn job.

The biggest thing with social media that I’m not the biggest fan of is the amount of picture’s that you see of children. You see picture’s of them from the day that they enter this world and haven’t even opened their eyes yet. Do they picture’s help or hurt them? My biggest concern is, who is actually looking at them other than the people that you’re friends with? You know their’s a lot of very sick and twisted people out there in the world that have the ability to hack into almost anything and see picture’s that weren’t intended for everyone to see. I’m not a parent myself, and I would never tell anyone how to raise their kids, or tell them that they shouldn’t post picture’s of them, but I just hope that the parent’s are aware of the danger’s of the internet. The fact that you just never really know who is sitting behind their computer being a creep looking at your picture’s and stealing personal information from you at the same time.

People have a way of hacking thing’s, their was a story recently about someone who was able to hack into a video baby monitor that sync’s up to your smart phone, which I find to be one of the dumbest thing’s ever thought of when it come’s to children. The guy was just watching the child sleep and screaming into the monitor when the mother heard the noises, that’s very scary to me that someone would even do that. They do make video baby monitor’s that don’t sync up to your smart phone and those seem to be fine, however the best visual aide that you could ever possibly get of your child is to open the door to their nursery, and see for yourself that their safe and sound.

Once again just be aware and cautious about the picture’s that you may post of the little one’s that you love so much, I’d never want to hear about anything happening to any of them because of something related to social media.

I literally can’t even continue to go on with this social media rant, to sum it up, fuck the picture’s of your food, just eat it before it get’s cold. The gym selfies, put the phone down get to your workout, no one care’s about you going to the gym just to take pictures. Stop with all the bulls**t game invite’s, take them and pleasure yourself with them. Stop the play-by-play commentary about your day, leave any play-by-play commentary to the sport’s world. And for the love of God and the damn Devil, to all the guy’s that have poked me, stop. If I wanted to be poked by another guy, I’d go and get a tattoo, where not only would I get poked by another guy, but rubbed as well for at least a couple of hours.

Is social media destroying us? Is it making us become less social, and even more disconnected from each other than ever before?

No matter how many bar’s your WiFi say’s you have, doesn’t mean were connected, it’s actually quite the opposite.

People post and share thing’s about making a change, giving their two cent’s on issue’s that go on in this country and this world, but how much does the click of a button actually do? It can only do so much, it may get people aware of something, it may get people to want to change thing’s, but how many of us are actually doing what we say? How many of us are actually out there trying to change thing’s for the better?

I’m not claiming that I’m out there doing something to make a difference in the world on a daily basis. What I’m doing though on a daily basis is working on changing myself, working on changing the thing’s I need to change. I’m doing the best that I can to focus on myself and not you, is it selfish? No, it’s necessary.

Before we all start pointing finger’s and blaming other’s, and doing the same thing’s that have been done before throughout history, maybe we need to start pointing the finger at ourselves and realizing, that its us, that needs to change first. We should start attempting to change our way of thinking and try to find that inner peace within inside of us. Maybe once we do find that inner peace, than that inner peace can be projected out into the world, and one day the world will know what peace really is.

If we took the passion we have for materialistic things and football, and put all that energy toward’s the problem’s that we face in the world today, the possibilities as to what we could do would be endless.

I’d love to see a world where people actually have their face in a book. A world where you can walk down the street, stop at a vending machine, put in some money, and receive a gram instantly, get it?

I don’t consider myself to belong to any group or anything along those line’s, I simply belong to the human race. It doesn’t matter what color your skin, where you come from, or whether your gay or straight, none of that shit matter’s to me. All that matter’s is the fact that we’re all here together, and we should start working together a little bit more and stop fighting with each other a lot less. It make’s no sense to fight one another, it get’s us nowhere as you can see it’s gotten us nowhere for a while now.

All the petty bulls**t that goes on between people in this world is nothing but one big giant plastic bag that has been place over the Earth, and it’s slowly choking the life out of everyone.

Just breathe, relax, and throw something good in the air with good people, and enjoy your time here.


With the 3 year mark of my father’s passing coming up in September, I thought I should write about it, it’s personal, however it helps me to get my thoughts out of my head and into the world. Plus, his passing is something that is more common than one may think. The words you read may give you or someone some help that has dealt with this like I have.

The subject tends to be a very touchy one, and no one seems to ever want to talk about it, until it happens, and by than it’s too late for the one that is gone. The thing is it happens a lot more, and for what reasons no one really knows, except the person who is gone.

I’m hoping that my words help shine a light into people’s life and help them come “Out of the Darkness”. In case you don’t know Out of the Darkness is a movement trying to raise awareness for suicide prevention.

Something I never heard of until three year’s ago, and it was one of the best things that I could’ve found out about at that time.

Here’s my view and thoughts about suicide, hoping it can give someone some help if they ever have to deal with it. I base everything off of what I went through and how I dealt with it when I lost my father.

When you lose a loved one to suicide, there’s a whole bunch of thoughts and emotions that will most likely run through your head.

Chances are there’s going to be some anger, anger that is perfectly normal I’d say when this happens. You may be angry at the loved one you lost, or angry at yourself.

My anger that I felt wasn’t directed at my father but rather at the loved one’s around me who seemed to be angry at him for doing what he did.

The anger towards him was due to the fact that one, they didn’t want to lose someone like that, and second no one stopped and thought about it, and my father, and who he was as a person.

There will most likely be that sense of guilt that guilt you feel thinking that you could’ve done something to prevent it, when in reality, if someone truly wants to end their own life they will accomplish just that.

Plus, you cant prevent someone from doing it if your not aware of the signs. To be aware you would have to do some research, but most people aren’t going to type in “signs of a suicidal person” into a search engine online. It’s something that you never think will happen to you.

Confusion will run through you, most likely as well. Confused about where to go to talk to someone, which is why the “Out of the Darkness” is such a great thing out there in the world.

Along with that confusion, I felt alone like there was nobody to relate to about this topic, but that wasn’t the case at all because the amount of people that end their own lives is nothing compared to the amount of people who are left trying to make sense of it all.

Than there’s that question of “WHY?”

Why did this happen?

That’s a question that will most likely never be answered and the sooner you can accept that the better off you will be, may sound mean but its the truth and it does take sometime.

Basically when I got the news, this is what I felt.

Felt the anger towards other’s that were angry at him. I had this feeling of being lost and alone because I didn’t think there was anybody I could relate too, and there was, those people happened to be complete strangers, best people to talk to by the way.

I was sad but happy, not happy that he was gone, happy in the sense that I knew he was finally at peace for the first time.

The surprise to me wasn’t that it had happened, rather that it hadn’t happened sooner. I say that because I did a quick mental timeline of my fathers history, being that he dealt with depression, it all somewhat made sense, at least make sense to an extent.

Some would say that he was selfish, but I never once thought that, because the way I see it wasn’t I a little selfish all those years my father and I didn’t really speak that much? Not that we didn’t get along we just didn’t speak, we were two lost souls trying to find our way and I don’t know if he ever did, I know I’m on the right path because of him. My final words on this topic are this:

“If you know someone who you think may harm themselves leave them alone but don’t leave them.”

Meaning don’t talk to them about their problems try talking about some of your problems, maybe they will open up and not feel as down about their problems. Maybe they will find hope in overcoming some issues they may have. My father knew he had issues the last thing he needed was someone to sit there and tell him he had issues.

Remember someone who wants to end their life is going to, and there really isn’t much that you can do about it, unless you are aware of the signs, but what are you going to do sit there and watch them 24 hours day 7 days a week?

It’s hard to say whether or not you can prevent it or not, suicide is really confusion no matter how you look at it.
As time goes on I hope the suicide rates drop or end completely, because no one should feel like they have to take their own life.

I love you dad, you always knew what was best for me, your youngest, much love and respect for you brother.

I’ll see you later-Just-

When you lose a loved one you never really get over it, you just learn to live without them, and that’s what I’ve done since losing my father. Rest In Peace





Story of Songs



In these “Perfect Blue Buildings”, sitting here talking to “Mr.Jones”, whose trying to shove “Lithium” down my throat as if it were “Pennyroyal Tea.”

Got me feeling like a “Creep”, hopefully I’m rescued by the “Karma Police”, but it will make me look like a “Freak On a Leash.”

They all think I’m “Dumb”, but all I need is a “Soul to Squeeze.” And maybe it will bring me to the “Otherside”, where I’ll be able to see “Polly”,but their seems to be “Something In the Way.”

“It’ll be a Long Time”, until my “Self Esteem” come’s back because “The Kid’s Aren’t Alright.”

At this point everything seems so damn “Blurry” especially since we have to talk “Through The Glass.” It tends to make me “Feel So Numb.” All the pain subsides when I know “You Know You’re Right.”

Can’t wait until your “By My Side”, until than I’ll be right there with a “Smoking Gun”, let that be a “Warning” to those with “All Eyes On Me” because I’ve got “My Mind Made Up.”

Finally reaching “The Point of No Return” where an “Aneurysm” is about to occur, all because the system is about to “Rape Me”

It’s time for everyone to “Get Ready” and realize we’ve only got one life to live, and up to this point it’s been nothing short of a “Beautiful Disaster.”

Come one, come all, “Come as You Are”, so we can all take a swim in the “Lake of Fire.”

Don’t be afraid because “They Don’t Care About Us” which come’s as no surprise because no one seems to know “The Man Who Sold the World” anymore.

Most seem to obey the “Master of Puppets” instead of doing what they truly want to do.

Now go ahead and swallow some “Purple Pills” while sitting there watching “Three Little Birds”, because “It’s Been Awhile.” It will not make you a “Criminal” you may just become an “American Psycho.”

No need for fear  we all will be “Jamming” together while getting f*****g weird, because we as human’s are nothing but animals, so give us our “Animal Rights”, and allow us all to “Come Together.” And please “Give My Regards” to “Eleanor Rigby” as well as the “Living Dead Girl”, because were going “To fight for our Right to Party”, even if its with “Three Emcees and one Dj.”

No matter what happens I’ll always “Hold You Down” because “Nothing Else Matters.”

They say their sending me out to “Omaha” because supposedly I’m “Addicted” and I need “Help”, because “What I Got” has always been acquired the “Wrong Way”, with “All Apologies” to “Ms.Jackson.” At least I’m not the one dropping “Bomb’s Over Baghdad” killing a bunch of “Obnoxious” people. Instead they should be dropping them down on an “American Girl.” Chances are that would most likely cause us to have a psychotic “Breakdown.”

If that happens all you should do is “Start From Scratch” and realize there’s no more “Running” from your “Dreams.”

The way of the world has become “Unbelievable”, many of us running around with “Suicidal Thought’s”, just ask my best friend “Jeremy.”

If you ask him “Who Shot Ya”, he’d say himself only if he could reply, now you can find him “Under The Bridge” in upstate New York, just going in and out with “The Tide.” His life was always like a game of chess, in a constant “Checkmate.”

When I walk “All Along the Watchtower”, I try and give him “All of My Love”, but I only have a few moments left because ” I Hear My Train A Coming.”

The conductor happens to be a “Friend of Mine” and it’s going to be “XXXplosive.” Once we have reached the “Buffalo Soldier” we will sit back relax, and “Smoke Two Joints”, while drinking some “Gin and Juice”, while we plant our “Seed.”

After sometime we will be taking “Hits from the the Bong” it’s all apart of this “Glamour Life”, that is usually not so glamorous and it’s all the “Same in the End”, most just end up in a “Crack House” if you don’t know “What it’s Like”, don’t worry we all just “Gotta Get Away” from ourselves.

This “Manic Depression” has got me feeling “Higher” than ever before. I try to “Imagine” a world where a mother doesn’t decide that it’s more important to stick a heroin filled needle in arm, instead of sticking a bottle in her child’s mouth. You must know theirs a million other way’s to “Express Yourself.”

I suggest you start “Learning to Fly”, straight into the depth’s of hell, just make sure you have replaced your head with a cross covered in “One Blood” cell that’s (House In Virginia) infested, because I’m pretty sure your thinking I’m “Losing My Religion.”

Yes, if you must know that was “About A Girl”, now that she’s go”,ne I’m up on a “Plateau”, being tracked “Everywhere I Go.”

Please “Don’t Cry”, until you’ve had a blast of this “Nitro Energy.” For myself it makes me become “My Own Worst Enemy.” Never once made it to “School” on time, I was too busy fighting all the “Zombies”, afterwards I eventually made it to school high.

Always listening to the teachers before I became “The Man in the Box”, never wanted to be the “Monkey Wrench” that would be talked about when I wasn’t around. Please don’t watch me “Til I Collapse” for  I may “Relapse” and end up with nothing but this “Heart-Shaped Box” filled with nothing but “Sex, Love, and Money.” And that’s all great but I become “Numb” and “My Friends” never “Let Me Ride.” Which is fine with me because every single one of them is a “Negative Creep”, when I’m not stoned, and it’s quite simple all we have to do is “Breathe” and have the “Time of your Life.”

Once we come down we all “Float On”, because the “Chemicals Between Us”, are “All Mixed Up”, since there’s “No Rest for the Wicked.”

All I want to do is hop on “My Zephyr” and try to “Save the Population”, only it has to wait because “Annie Want’s A Baby.” Sadly though she’s been touched by “Many Men” and has come down with the “Sickness”, and spends her days screaming “I need A Doctor.” Unfortunately for her he’s in no hurry so please go to “Sleep Now in the Fire.” The only way to escape is to grab your “Little Wing” and make your way to the “Castle’s Made of Sand.” On your way make sure you stop and talk to the “Joker” he’s sitting with the “Band on the Run.”

It’s highly recommended because “This is the Place” where I’ve been “Dosed”, while waiting for “The Next Episode” but I’m about to “Throw Away Your Television.” Remember “Back in the Day” in the “1979” back before you had “Little Sister”, when we always had “One More Chance” where we could run through “Strawberry Fields”, to escape the “Rambling Man” who always tried to “Hypnotize” us. With only “One Minute” to spare before our lives became “Cumbersome.”

“By the Way” did I mention “I’m Shady”, if you don’t like it just remember it’s “Nothing but Music.” Plus, I love “The Way I am” and no amount of “Purple Haze” can make me feel any different. So let’s head down to the “Jailhouse” to set them free along the way we could gram some “Scarlet Begonias” that grow in “The Middle” of “Shakedown Street.” At this point of the trip there will be “No sleep til Brooklyn.”

Lets just “Make the Music” until we reach this “Parallel Universe.” Maybe we’ll be able to find the “Mississippi Queen” and if we have to wait we’ll scream “F**k the Police”, because “I Shot the Sheriff.”

It’s okay for you to “Cry Now”, just understand “Breaking Old Habits” is a lot harder than one might think, especially when you love to do what, your told not to do.

You have a choice you can sit there “As the World Turns” or you can “Get Up, Stand Up”, before the “Gravedigger” come’s and takes it all away. So your best bet is to just “Give it Away.” Now the time has come where we “Serve the Servants” it’s only “3am” and they deserve it. The fields are now “In Bloom” so let’s hurry because I feel as though “Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle.”

It’s almost as if we have become “Too Close”, it does make me feel “Alive” but there is absolutely “No Love”, don’t get me wrong I’d love to “Cross that Line” but it usually leads to “Breaking the Girl”, where I end up telling her to “Suck My Kiss.” Instead of ask “Where the Cash at” ask “Where is the Love”, I don’t mind looking I only have to make it through this “Crosstown Traffic”, pass the “Pawnshop”, where “My hero” and I will get out of “The City”, a city where they won’t hesitate to “Kick in the Door” with the AR-15, while I’m starting to “Shine.” I only hope you can “Still Feel Me” when standing next to the “Fire.”

“Times Up” for me, living “Round Here” “In these Streets” has taught me that it always “Smells like Teen Spirit”, while laying next to her, when I’m not  I ask “Where Did You Sleep Last Night.”

Now my “Radio Friendly Unit Shifter” has become “Some kind of Monster” and is “Killing me Softly with his Song” it has me wondering “If I was President”, would I still be “High All The Time.”

“Hate it or Love it”, but yes, because I would be under “Too Much” pressure. That cold make anyone “Go Crazy”, trying to be politically correct, we all have that “Animal Instinct”, and that’s ok, because  when I look at the “Man in the Mirror”, I realize it’s “All I have in this World.”

So again I wonder “If I was President”, would I become “Americas Nightmare”, No because “Behind Blue Eyes” we are “Americas Nightmare”, already where most “Got it Twisted” and everyone’s “Outta Control.” I’m about “One Step Closer” to packing up and heading down south “Just to Get High”, along the way we may “Meet Virginia”, even if we have to go out into the darkness with “One Headlight”, don’t worry “Help is on the Way.”

If for some reason the help does not arrive it’s ok because “Fight Like a Brave”, when “Shit hits the Fan” and that’s inevitable because “Time and Time Again” we find ourselves caught up in this “Game of Love”, where we just get the “Run Around” and end up falling “All Over You” while turning a blind eye to the fact we have all become “Dazed and Confused”, with the “Sunshine” that you’re smile projects onto the world, lighting up even some of the darkest times while I’m “Crawling in the Dark.” The whole time looking at me like “I am Not a Human Being.”

You seem to be stuck in your “Evil Ways”, and all I want is to “Come Out and Play”, with you and “Scream” while I “Crack A Bottle” over you’re head.

Than I stop and think  is this all “Just A Memory”, a memory that could be erased with a little bit of “Pussy Liquor.” And still I rise so “Let’s Go Get Stoned”, and take it “One day at a Time”, that seems like the only logical way to live, forget about time, just “Don’t Forget Me”, make time for yourself and what you hold near and dear to you.

“Don’t Get Carried Away” with all the nonsense that goes on around you just “Spark Another Owl” and become the “Blunt Blowing” monster while your on your “California Vacation.”

Out there I feel like a complete “Loser”, I just want to be in “Beverly Hills” amongst all the “Beautiful People”, but I guess you can’t always get “Everything You Want”, than I end up feeling “Dead and Bloated.”

The “Hook” always gets you fighting, hoping that you don’t get caught up in the “Spider Webs” in the middle of a “Quiet Storm.” If that’s the case it looks like “I’m Supposed to Die Tonight” all I have to do to avoid that is “Disarm” him, and hope that the “Lighting Crashes” into the ground opening up a black hole with the “Stairway to Heaven”, that has been promised, I think I’d rather “Stay Away.” You can join if you’d like I’m headed to “Higher Ground”, going to hide “Behind the Sun.”

Can’t you see “How far we’ve come.” We’ve been “Selling the Drama”, so now “I want to Hold Your Hand”, because “All I need is Your Love.”

“Once I had a Woman”, with a “Bleeding Heart” who lived in a “Red House”, after awhile of eating “Mexican Seafood” every night she got tired so she up and left. Plus she heard a rumor about me kissing “Molly’s Lips”, however she never knew which one’s I was kissing.

Now I’ve learned that I “Cant Repeat”, and “All I Want” is you “Want You Bad”. Every time I try and say something it’s as if I have “Tourette’s” and I need to learn how to “Take it Easy”, or else there will be a “Price to Pay” according to my “Brother John”, whose looking to expose “My Dirty Little Secret”, which happens to be you, and I won’t let anyone “Testify” against you because “Catholic School Girls Rule.”

With that said, I think it’s time we escape this world like we did on “April 26th,1992″, when we had no single care in the world, and we didn’t have this thing called “Tainted Love.”

In this world full of hypocritical bullshit there’s not much to  do besides “Lose Yourself” in the moment of what, is wrong because it feels so damn good, and who doesn’t want to feel good? With you feet in the “Wet Sand” “Down in a Hole”, it’s becoming very “Hard to Concentrate”, on why these “Scar’s” even exist to begin with.

All I know, never let anyone get the “Best Of You”, it end’s up becoming a “Tearjerker”, just like the time you fell in love with “Runaround Sue”, that’s when you noticed “Two footprints in the Sand.”

However they didn’t belong to who you think they belonged to. “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”, whose singing along to the beat “While my Guitar Gently Weeps.”

I can take you “Around the World” it’s up to you, it’s “Your Decision.”

I’ll just sit here “Like a Stone” trying to figure out why everything has gone “Black”, there’s really no point in “Saving Me”, I’m sick of the “Real World.”

Let’s just go get “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” in the middle of the night, than disappear, “Into the Night”, there’s an “Open Invitation” for you “Somewhere in Heaven” so “Hold On”, it’s not going to be a “Smooth” ride, than again most things that are fun, consists of up and down’s, especially life itself.

“Everybody’s Everything”, if we all just tried a little harder to “Make Somebody Happy”, than we could possibly know what real peace is in this world, with all the people and an “Opinion” for each one of them, it’s likely never going to happen.

We’re here but “She’s Not There”, so just take “The Good, the bad, and the Ugly” for what it is, take a “Dive”. “If you Want Me to Stay” here down on “Sullivan Street”, but it’s “Raining In Baltimore” and that scares me more than the “Ghost Train” that’s headed straight towards me, while I’m working on the “Chain Gang.”

I was told to “Never Let You Go”, I think it’s time for you to “Pinch Me”, so don’t fight the feeling just “Go with the Flow.”

“For what it’s Worth” I love being “Stuck in the Middle with You” I just wanted to let you know that before this “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” hits me while standing outside of “Feel Good Inc.”, which I find ironic that the word bullet and feel good are in the same sentence, but f**k it, never said I was normal. I’m f*****g weird, and I know it, wouldn’t have it any other way, so I’ll spend “My Next Thirty Year’s” trying to be normal for you society……yea right, I couldn’t be normal for the few seconds it took me to “Write this Down”, if you actually believed that you must be crazier than me.

“Believe” that there is an “In Human Creation Station” producing robot people, but all I want is you “Right Here in My Arms.”

Never mind that “Razorblade Kiss” that has been pushed up on you. “Push It” out of your mind, because you look “Wonderful Tonight” and always do, now “Lay Down Sally” in the “White Room”, where the walls will be covered in sweat from you being up against the walls, in no way should that statement be taken as a violent image, but an image of what I want to do to you every night, so there’s that constant smell of “Sex and Candy”, just make sure we “Paint it Black” to keep from this “Mind Control” that goes on all around us, they don’t need “Someone To Love”, when they are the “Last of a Dying Breed” and feel nothing while riding with “Paramedics”, who even know that “911 Is a Joke”, no matter where you go.

With that said I think that is “Over Now” because that last track title could be looked at completely out of context and I don’t want anyone to get offended.


That was my story of song’s, if it didn’t make sense, or at time’s was completely random, it was supposed to be.

At time’s it didn’t even make sense to me, as I was writing it. I wrote it not to steal anything from the artist who wrote all those song’s, but to show love and appreciation for the music they’ve put out for our enjoyment.

There’s not much else in this world that makes me feel good and takes away any negative feelings, like music does. I couldn’t even begin to imagine a world without music, I don’t think I’d want to ever live in that world. No matter where I go I feel as is I need music, while I’m reading, writing, or even sleeping.

The truth is for me is, I’d rather hear music, than any of the bullshit that spews out of the mouth’s of most people. For myself and millions of others music has gotten me through some tough time’s in life. Time’s where I’d just crank up the music and sit in my room, inside of my own, sometimes sick and twisted mind and just relax and forget about everything.

Most of this, if not all of it was off of the top of my head, I just thought of a song I like or have heard and tried to fit it into a story someway or the other.

It really wasn’t something I thought out at first but there are parts that tend to be pretty accurate with certain issues I’ve dealt with or someone I know has dealt with.

I hope at least someone out there could relate, or maybe it brought back memories from seeing the name’s of songs that you may not have heard of in awhile. While writing this it helped me rediscover some of those older songs that I find still to this day to be amazing, the one’s I heard as a kid growing up.

This could have kept going and going but however my creative juices slowly shut down, not only that but I feel it was ended at the perfect time.

So you can take this however you want to take it, if you find meaning in any part of it, awesome, if not that’s fine. Don’t take offense to any of it, it’s really not that serious.

In today’s music world it doesn’t seem like there is as much love and passion that goes into putting out great music as their used to be, its like most are just pushing a few buttons and calling themselves a DJ, not many spin vinyl anymore, speaking of vinyl that’s actually has been making a comeback as of recently which I find amazing.

I encourage anyone and everyone to put down the t.v. remote and turn the music all the way up, and listen to the music is saying, because it’s definetly saying something, you just have to listen closely.

Music is one of the most important things to me in my life, without it in my daily routine I don’t think I’d want to live, if I had to choose between music or television, I’d always pick music everyday.

Remember when the music hit’s you really do feel no pain.

“Throw down your umbilical noose, so I can climb right back”-KC

Peace, Love, and Happiness=success


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It seems like in this materialistic society that we live in today,  people aren’t as happy as they could be. Maybe it’s due to the stress of wanting to be successful or what we may think is consider success in the society that we live in, what one may consider success may be considered complete failure by another, but who is anybody to say whose successful and whose not?

A lot of people seem to base success on what they have, where they live, how much money they make, the type of car they drive, and what they do for a living.

In my opinion success shouldn’t be based off what you have or what you do, it should be based off the thing’s that aren’t obtained by going to a store and purchasing something to show that you’ve achieved success.

If one doesn’t have some sense of peace with themselves, have love to give and receive, and find something that brings happiness to them, no matter how big or small, than how can one truly be successful?

In other words if you can wake up and be grateful for waking up everyday, have a positive attitude towards life on a daily basis, and at least enjoy what you do to an extent than that to me is success.

As far as being happy that takes little steps, steps to find what makes you happy, the things you “want” to do, not the things you “need” to do, because for most doing what we need to do is usually something we don’t want to do, but it’s up to the individual to do something they enjoy even if it’s something little.

“Life’s a garden, dig it”

Simply meaning do what you need to do, get the job done, but never forget about what it is you truly want to do in life, that’s the way of a garden, doing the things that are needed for it to grow and as time goes on you learn new things. A garden takes time as does life, there’s just no time to waste, and try not to stress about time, usually you’ll end never having enough of it when you stress it.


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